Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
