I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Randomize
