she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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