I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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