I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
