Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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