in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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