i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
He? As in you personified your dick?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
