I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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