he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
