Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
