you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
