i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
