i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
