i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I wear drunk well.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
