the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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