My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
