yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
