yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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