Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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