Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
