so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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