Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
