I can tuck mytits in my pants
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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