I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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