By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize