my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
