ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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