I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Randomize
