Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
