Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
