Cold hands, warm shart.
Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
We just shotgunned beers for America
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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