Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
