He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
