I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Randomize
