We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
