She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
