Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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