Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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