Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
