i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
