i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
