return my video game
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
