I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
