I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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