@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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