Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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