Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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