My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
