I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
