dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I faked an abortion last night.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
