well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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