He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
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