He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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