i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
