there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
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I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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