It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Randomize