So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
